User Profile Friends Calendar

Below are the 7 most recent journal entries.

	2002.07.30  10.28 It's Crrrazy! So... I dunno what to say about everything since Friday. Friday, lost my job, got a car estimate, went to see the badest ass movie yet (Austin Powers: Goldmember) almost got Ash to go with us, but they were already sold out. *boo hiss*. Saturday rolls around and I realy don't have a clue as to what happened all Saturday... I think we scrambled for MIB2 and then went cruisin for a bit. Picked up Alex from work and went to get some pimp lights, but the big news is when around to 2pm Ash calls me - can't sleep. So ok, Mr Manchu wants to come along. We went, chilled, chatted, madhatted. Twas teh shait. She still wa'n' tired though, so I took her for a rollercoaster ride in the car, heh heh. More? Went to a play ground (after driving through it) and swung on the swings and played around. More? Damn. I swear she was tryna come to my house. But then, (heh heh, it gets bettah!) some dude calls my freakin cell phone. No number I ever seen before. He asks for Ash, and being the amazingly all omnimpotent master debator that I am (and somewhat cunning linguist), I told Mr. Mystery ash wasn't with us - which was a total lie, and he knew it, cuz he was peering at us through the bay window of her apartment without my knowsledge or permission. :-P I hope everything's all good there. Sunday - Car work and slow driving. Crazy really... me... driving slow. I think we did a movie too. Oh yah, the Negotiator... and pizza! Monday - The Thomas Crown Affair. "Hello, I'm 'Mr. The Pimp'. I like this, so I'm taking it. Bah, it was stupid it. I'll put it back. But, my heavy petting kitten here likes that one... *yoink*" Did i mention I got a job lined up for next week? Yepps, I does. It's very cool. *bows* Thank you all. I must depart. My pee test wore me out.... uhm, don't think about that in much detail please. Mood: optimistic Music: Fatboy Slim - Goin Out Of My Head

	2002.07.21  04.41 Tell me I'm hunting for a little good will. I'm thinkin about this girl that just brings me to my knees and I'm sure everyone knows it but I like to hide it. I try to act like I don't miss her, even if we were only friends. I'll forever be asking myself if there was anything else I could have done. And ever since the day she asked me why I never kissed her... that's the deepest regret I've ever had, and I didn't even know it. Deeper than any of mine own really. I'm at the point where it's as if... I missed something and I just don't know how, because I was staring so hard. All these things that we did to hurt each other... she won't make peace with me. I put all my pride aside. It took 4 months but I did it. Doesn't change the fact that we got to that point.... So tell me, what it was and what it's all about? What kept you from the life you say you couldn't live without? Mood: numb Music: Train - Drops of Jupiter (Tell Me)

	2002.07.15  01.23 Little whispers... "Jonathan Trager, prominent television producer for ESPN died last night from complications of losing his soul mate and his fiancée. He was 35 years old. Soft-spoken, and obsessive, Trager never looked the part of a hopeless romantic. But, in the final days of his life, he revealed an unknown side of his psyche. This hidden quasi-Jungian persona surfaced during the Agatha Christie-like pursuit for his long reputed soul mate, a woman whom he'd only spent a few precious hours with. Sadly, the protracted search ended late Saturday night in complete and utter failure. Yet even in certain defeat, the courageous Trager secretly clung to the belief that life is not merely a series of meaningless accidents or coincidences - uh uuuh - but rather it's a tapestry of events that culminate in an exquisite, sublime plan. Asked about the loss of his dear friend, Dean Cansky, the Pulitzer prize winning author and executive editor of the New York Times, described Jonathan as “a changed man” in the last days of his life. "Things were clearer for him." Cansky noted. Ultimately Jonathan concluded that if we are to live life in harmony with the universe, we must all possess a powerful faith in what the ancients used to call fate, what we currently refer to as destiny." ...I await my destiny, but for how long? So many of destiny's little whispers circle around my head. If only you knew (I have revived my website). Mood: anxious

	2002.07.13  20.04 C'est fin!! Yeh, so like, I've spent the last week scripting some stuff dor my site. (I taught and old website new tricks... obviously I'm the master. :-P) So, for those of you who understand what it's like to have a different log on each page of your website, you'd understand that every time you add one, it's a pain in the ass. No more! To update my site, I add 6 characters to a little text file I have and they're all linked with the proper date in the right order and... well it's perfect - like me. so what else have I been up to? Weellllll, I also made it so now people can comment on my website and the current log or whatever I've put up there. That was like 15 hours worth of programming. Unfortunately I still haven't reopened the site... soon enough though. Work sucks as usual, but I got 37 hours this week. That means 37x$8.88%.8 = a billion dollars!! Yah! All to pay for car insurance :-( Oh well, I think Mike would be consider it worthwhile for a '99 bright red Firebird. :-P ~~You can't have her! She's mine!!~~ Uhm... Yah that's about it. you can only log so much sitting in your basement wearing only your boxers at 8 pm so... I think I'll go out and get a new life. "Baby, I need a miracle. I'm searching to find a way into a new life. And I'm movin... I know the chance is okay but I can discover new life. Baby, it's an emergency. I'm sayin I'm only tryin to survive. That's why I'm movin, I've got the power to make it, I've found... a brand new life." Seriously, $20 to the first person (who doesn't know me) who can name that song. -LC Mood: accomplished

	2002.07.03  14.26 Mad About You I get to myself more than a lot of people know. I think I'm still within healthy bounds, I really am. I can always handle it, but when I'm actually down like this it just seems to desolate and desperate and only a select few people can get me out of it. Amber seems to work wonders simply by being. Beautiful, smart, fun (and funny).... If I had a picture I'd post it just to say "That's my girl", a boy can dream right? So, today's issue is Hilary. The idea was that we were on hold but I just don't know. I tend to read into things; like the fact that it seems she makes no effort to talk to me (although it was of interest when discussing our 'situation'). None of my business I suppose. Crushed, rejected, desperate, anxious... there are so many feelings that consume me right now and not a day goes by I haven't thought of her. *sigh* Whatever. It's so hard for me when I'm like this because I feel so much all at once. Sometimes I ask myself if I've blinded myself to 'the one' by the present ideal. There are so many things to love about so many people and I always try to see it all, but even between the sun and the moon there is an eclipse. Sting - Mad About You A stone's throw from Jerusalem I walked a lonely mile in the moonlight And though a million stars were shining My heart was lost on a distant planet That whirls around the April moon Whirling in an arc of sadness I'm lost without you, I'm lost without you Though all my kingdoms turn to sand and fall into the sea I'm mad about you, I'm mad about you And from the dark secluded valleys I heard the ancient songs of sadness But every step I thought of you Every footstep only you Every star a grain of sand The leavings of a dried up ocean Tell me, how much longer, How much longer? They say a city in the desert lies The vanity of an ancient king But the city lies in broken pieces Where the wind howls and the vultures sing These are the works of man This is the sum of our ambition It would make a prison of my life If you became another's wife With every prison blown to dust My enemies walk free I'm mad about you, I'm mad about you And I have never in my life Felt more alone than I do now Although I claim dominions over all I see It means nothing to me There are no victories In all our histories Without love A stone's throw from Jerusalem I walked a lonely mile in the moonlight And though a million stars were shining My heart was lost on a distant planet That whirls around the April moon Whirling in an arc of sadness I'm lost without you, I'm lost without you And though you hold the keys to ruin of everything I see With every prison blown to dust my enemies walk free Though all my kingdoms turn to sand and fall into the sea I'm mad about you, I'm mad about you.... ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ "Well I gotta tell ya, I'd be very very careful who you talk to about that, because the person who wrote that is dangerous. And this button down Oxford cloth psycho might just snap and then stalk from office to office with an armalite AR10 carbine gas-powered semi-automatic weapon, pumping round after round into colleagues and coworkers. This might be someone you've known for years, someone very, very close to you.... Or maybe you just shouldn't bring me every little piece of trash you happen to pick up. *phone rings* Compliance and Liability? 'My tit's gonna rot off.' " Mood: distressed Music: Sting - Mad About Yoou

	2002.06.29  02.24 So ok - agenda for tonight is hats off to the boyshorts. It has taken several half-hours of thought to come to the conclusion that: The thong, being easily accessible, leaving nothing to the imagination, and leaving no lines at all, is sexish. Boyshorts on the other hand, are fairly accessible, leave a fair amount to the imagination, in fact sometimes leading it to run rampant, and still leaving no lines at all, are sexy. Did I mention comfortable too? So, which is it ladies? Dress up for sex, or dress to sex me up? Mmmmm, doesn't really matter, but I think you get the fact that I prefer the boyshorts. Oh, and I forgot to mention the fact that, ya know, boyshorts in any style are acceptible lounge-wear around the house... Angel decided to ask me what I would like for a lady to wear. I am not to picky about bras I guess... I think that a girl should be the utmost of comfortable. If it were something to tickle my fancy, I would prefer an intricately designed lace bra and boyshort set. You know, doesn't have to be super flimsy or flossy, but all in all, I would like to see at least 5% of the skin. But I'm not about what you wear. I suppose I'm not like all guys in that I like every little thing about your body. Mmmmm ladies make me so hungry... think I'ma go find some sex and candy. (Tonight's soundtrack available for download here) Mood: horny Music: Tenacious D - Fuck Her Gently

	2002.06.27  03.16 I'm here Well... here I am. By the grace of an Angel I now have a live journal. This shall aid me in attempting to keep the world on speed with me. I spend so much time these days merely sleeping and working I find it's a wonder that I have the many blessings (you're called friends sometimes) I do. Thank you. .... Wow. That was really short, but another reason I haven't logged in a long time is because things happen in such small bundles they weren't worth the trouble. :-P So, without further ado... Hello world! LC